Yeah this is unacceptable behavior. That said I think this is something that ought to be just explained to him because he might legitimately be a total dumbass.
That said I wish more restaurants were like Fuddruckers or Firehouse Subs and just let me grab my food from the counter myself once it was done. I don’t really want to pay someone to carry my food & drinks to me and be possibly insincerely nice to me to increase their tip or whatever.
This looks like the guy is self-reporting.
Ask him if he wants to come back to the kitchen and wash his own dishes while he’s at it.
That’s actually annoying as fuck.
How’s his patience behind the wheel of a car?
The redness of this flag is 100% dependent on his demeanor, it could easily go either way. If I’m working and a customer volunteers to help me do my job in a manner that is clearly not hostile or insulting I’d call that a good thing.
I would add that regularity and familiarity are key as well. How often does he do this? Is it at restaurants where he is a regular and knows them? If he’s a regular who does this occasionally, probably fine. If he hangs out by the kitchen of every Applebee’s or Cracker Barrel he wanders into, he’s a serial killer probably.
These are reasonable follow up questions to ask, we do not have enough info
He can be used as excuse for some shitty manager to fire someone “look how slow you are, the client had to come itself to take the plate. Don’t bother coming back tomorrow”
This is the first/only good point I’ve seen here as to why this would be a bad thing to do regardless of legal liability or his demeanor or intent. Management don’t need a legal or moral justification to be assholes.
Per the post the boyfriend is doing this because he is impatient not because he is nice and trying to genuinely make the waitresses life better.
Impatient =/= rude or hostile, per the post he’s smiling with no visible indication of anger or displeasure, you don’t have a clue what his motives are or how nice he may or may not be about it
Both can be true though. He could be doing it because he’s impatient, but doing it in a way that makes the waiter/waitress’s life better.
This would freak me the fuck out. Let me do my job, please and thank you. You don’t work here.
You sound fragile
Weird, I thought they sounded like a professional that doesn’t want untrained randos stepping in and throwing off their work flow.
If a single person carrying a plate without your permission throws you off your flow you never had a flow, fragile
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You sound like you’ve never worked a service job.
Lol get your ears checked babe
There’s literally no way for someone to do this that’s not hostile and insulting.
You are wrong
I can’t think of any way doing this regularly could be a good thing.
I can’t think of any way doing this ever would be a good thing.
If the motivation is impatience, no, but I guess if you have a genuine desire to help people it could be a good thing.
as a waiter in a past life this doesn’t really help a lot. i didn’t double check your order, you are potentially in the way. if you drop shit you are fucking up so much i’d be kicking your ass out that door and you are on the list.
You can’t imagine a scenario where a person choosing to politely and cheerfully assist you with your job would be a good thing? Sounds like a failure of your imagination specifically
My boyfriend is a very nice guy. He helps servers do their job by piling the plates when we’re done eating and leaving them at the edge of the table where they’re accessible like a normal human being.
I can promise you from 10+ years of experience in the service industry, getting up to grab your own food, no matter how “polite” your intent is, is never, ever fucking welcome. Not only is it insulting and passive aggressive, but it can cause hazards for the customer and other servers, besides you could be stealing food that’s not even your own. This is absolutely unhinged behaviour.
Editing to add a PSA: it’s also never okay to take food off a server’s tray. That shit takes balance and you will get food or drinks spilled all over you if you pull that shit.
We have no idea if the food was on a tray or whether there were any other customers orders present to get mixed up. I agree it’s weird as shit, and you can welcome it or not as you please, assuming it’s an insult or passive-aggressive is still entirely baseless. Literally any hazard it could cause to another customer or server could just as easily be caused by him walking to the bathroom. Your boyfriend does sound nice, I also do that.
Can you imagine your partner being so focused on the 5 minutes it takes a waiter to bring food to the table that, rather than having a conversation with you or something, they stand up and go pick up their plate unlike every single other human being in that restaurant?
Can I imagine being hungry? Yeah, pretty easily. Just because other people aren’t doing it doesn’t make it bad.
Sure. Why don’t you just go into the kitchen and start cooking, too, while you’re at it?
That would present a significantly greater risk of him contaminating someone else’s food or hurting himself than simple carrying his own plate to his table, think harder
So letting him pick his own plate still have a chance of him contaminating the counter, other plates, break things accidentally, bump into a server, and cause confusion and commotion. Didn’t have to think that hard. :)
They key thing to note here is he does it because he’s impatient, not because he’s such a nice guy. There is no way he’s not a pushy asshole, even if he hides it behind passive-agressive behavior.
I think it’s more like somebody who doesn’t respect this boundary probably doesn’t respect other boundaries, too. This is just unhinged behavior, sorry. It’s at best profoundly embarrassing.
You don’t have a clue what his motives are or whether he’s being a pushy asshole or not, you have exactly the same information I do and you’re making baseless assumptions. If what you’re claiming is true then yes it would be a bad thing, fucking duh, but you don’t know that.
My boyfriend’s beige flag is that he gets impatient at restaurants and helps the waitress bring the plates to our table
Yes, I do know that, because it’s explicitly stated.
Lol k, well she also used the word “help”, and he’s smiling in the pic so clearly he’s being nice about. You still lose.
Also worth noting that I never said anything abour him being impatient, I said you didn’t know he was being a pushy asshole, and you don’t. Being impatient does not in any way require being rude.
And I’m sure she said this was a “beige flag” because he’s such a great, thoughtful guy. You’re being incredibly obtuse. This is a post about her boyfriend having sketchy behavior.
Do you work in the hospitality industry?
Not currently, but I worked front and back of house for several years at sit-down restaurants, plus fast food back in high school. If someone volunteers to make my job easier and isn’t a jerk about it I don’t see any reason to be upset, seems pretty simple.
Untrained Customers ‘helping’ sounds like an imsurance liability nightmare.
I wouldn’t trust a customer to have clean enough hands to roll flatware. Which would be more helpful than crowding the pickup window or drinks booth with strangers.
Folks who want counter service better skip table service places.
I was just thinking this would make a good scamming scheme, team up with someone spill hot coffee over them when doing this, sue the restaurant for damages.
Liability for what exactly? If he’s only handling his own dishes carrying them to the table then the end result is exactly the same as if he handled them at the table.
Slip and fall, for one.
He can just as easily do that walking across the dining room to the bathroom regardless of who brings his food to his table, it changes absolutely nothing about the risk involved or the legal liability.
While holding hot food? Surrounded by other guests? Doing the work that the restaurant employee was meant to do?
Just sit down and let them do their job. They don’t want your help, I promise you.
No way. He could spill hot food on a guest at another table, a staff member, or trip and hurt himself and sue.
He could do literally any of those things from his own table or while walking to the bathroom, the insurance/liability situation would be completely unchanged
Nah. A folk like that can really can do a lot more damage standing and imitating workers than sitting at their own table.
Anyway, Amnesigenic, it’s not hard to tell you’ve never been held responsible for an operation, perhaps not even your own actions. Sorry your joke broke down when it hit consequences town. Btw I suggest reading at least ONE ToS all the way through.
Anyway, definitely an air raid siren. Guy acts like Player 1 and doesn’t even understand how the world works well enough to participate in a way that doesn’t mess up everyone else’s day. Just so he and princess of the week can feel special for ten minutes? Stay home and cook ig?
Yeah, but in this case, the waiter will be given problems by the manager.
The restaurant is managing their liabilities, but the waiter needs to manage their own too, instead of just the restaurant’s.
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Bruh you’re an .ml why are you stanning a scab.
Scabs get paid, words mean things, dumbass
Now we have beige flags? Soon there’ll be burnt umber, fuscia, striped, herringbone, and eventually they’ll have gone to plaid.
I’m waiting for the swiss flag. It’s a huge plus
My Chilean flag is that I enjoy back scratches.
Is a Chilean flag just a really narrow strip of fabric that runs down the entire length of the flagpole? If not, it should be.
My Chilean flag is that
digo weon muchissima mas que los otros español hablantes.
A cresta!
Lo siento, Chile elegí al azar.
I’m waiting for houndstooth.
My cirulean flag is that I want more flag types.
I look for yellow ochre flags.
The whole ritual of being served at a restaurant makes me queasy. But I’d never dare interfere in it. Never!
Also, when the food takes long to arrive it’s a good sign: they took time to prepare it.
Yeah me too, but I can’t help but not try and hand them plates to clear and get them all in order.
I don’t know what but I don’t like being waited on like that makes them feel like servants to me but we are equal.
Or it sat in the window too long waiting for a runner and now it’s cold (sadly, I’ve had this happen more often than it simply taking a while to be prepared).
I didn’t consider that. BF’s behavior actually makes sense in that case. I guess I never eat at restaurants that are that full. But seeing OOP’s picture, neither do they.
I don’t really approve of their behavior because it’s sending “you don’t know how to do your job” vibes among other things. They could’ve just signaled to their server and asked for a status update.
I know as a programmer, I’d be pretty annoyed if someone shoved my chair out of the way to start typing the code themselves. No mechanic is going to be happy about a customer grabbing tools and doing their own work.
Or they’re slammed and your burger comes out dry because they cranked the grill up to cook things faster.
I don’t go out to eat at peak hours anymore.
Man, I don’t even feel comfortable grabbing my own plate at a buffet.
Imagine his partner is in labour for hours. He gets impatient and just grabs a baby from the nursery and brings it to her with that smile. Like I’m hundred percent sure that if he does this regularly he has grabbed plates that were meant for other tables.
He gets impatient and just grabs a baby from the nursery
You don’t want to know how often that really happened!
Uhh… I did most things in the hospital before my wife gave birth. The nurses were simply too busy so I started helping with the small stuff and then they said ohh thanks when I’d adjust the baby heart monitor and other sensors that randonlu went off. I of course made sure it was ok with them.
Yes I’m sure this guy has trouble remembering the face of their waiter and talking to people, he just goes and grabs shit randomly. Spot on deduction, Watson!
Because there’s no such a thing as unskilled labor, some people believe that you can wait tables without training, and that people duck as waiters.
Plus they clearly hate the job so it makes me feel as if they are making me a favor. That said, probably the job pays terribly and that’s the reason why this happened in the first place.I want competent waiters with competent salaries.
Friend of mine is a waiter who says things like “give me that two dollar minimum wage any day with tips.“ Says he makes more than anybody else in the restaurant except the owner. But again, this is skilled labor as you say, I couldn’t just go in and be the same caliber with no experience, he’s been doing this decades.
It depends on where you work for those tips. Fine dining and busy bars tend to do good. Though I was a bartender at one somewhat busy bar and tips were shit because the clientele were just that way. Old folks and people who spent all their money gambling on video poker mostly. Was kind of annoying when someone won big and bought the house a round but didn’t tip at all or tipped $1.
But I only had that job for one year before I left to work in IT. No tips but way better pay overall.
I want competent waiters with competent salaries.
If you’re going to throw your money away, throw some this way. I haven’t paid someone to carry food to me in like a decade. It seems like something from another world now.
Mood
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I repeat
THIS IS NOT A DRILLCONFIDENCE IS HIGH
(wtf is that even supposed to mean)To some people everything is a red flag. Bro is just hungry and helpful
Helpful what. That’s super weird and annoying and nothing else. He’s not any faster carrying two plates to their table than a server, and how can they trust him to not fuck it up, grab the wrong stuff, touch other guests’ plates…
Once maybe twice, sure. Enough times for someone to make a post about it? I also wouldn’t say it’s a red flag but it’s definitely weird.
Yeah, also:
“Helps” as in asks the waitress if he can help when she brings the first dish? Ok, weird but ok.
“Helps” as in walks up to the pass and looks for their order to grab it when the waitress takes the minute or two to make their rounds? Absolute “the rules don’t apply to me” burning red flag.
Really sends the message to the server “you aren’t doing your job the way I like it, so I’m going to do it for you.”
It’s very presumptuous to interfere in someone’s professional operations, and assume you know what’s going on. What if you pick up someone else’s order by mistake? Then the kitchen has to remake the whole thing because now it’s contaminated. Or if you take the food but leave the “ticket” there and the staff and kitchen get mixed up about what’s gone out and what hasn’t.
Totally messing up the process and shows zero respect for the people doing their jobs.
Sit your ass down and let the staff do what they do. The other customers are all getting their food no problem, and so will you.
Traditionally, the word professional is usually reserved for someone who sits behind a desk, engaged in a “career” job. The word has changed but it was previously reserved for the careers you can only get after university, a “learned” profession.
I say that because many think of waiters as a lesser profession, not a skilled job.
One of my favourite restaurants closed recently but the staff there were definitely talented and had learned all the right communication with each other and patrons, they could answer any questions and knew how to avoid common grievances.
You can be skilled at anything, and I’m constantly amazed by the little things people do to make others have a good time.
Either this guys an impatient asshole or they made this up. Either way it’s not cute, it’s fucking annoying and is just a little control freak energy. Her not being able to work out its control freak energy means he’s probably with the right person.
Agreed. People deserve to be respected for the job they are doing - no matter what that job is.
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Hey people with ADHD, this dude has your number and how to set you off. Look into his comments to see how he’s troll baiting you so you might catch it and downvote and move on after the second comment.
This isn’t your fault, but I’m trying to save you some anger. We’re getting really popular again, this is going to happen with other stuff too.
Do you also walk back to the garage and start working on your car if the mechanic is taking too long? Do you deliver your own mail if the mail person is taking a diffrent route? Do you go back and cut your own meat if the butcher takes long? Do you start operating on yourself if the doctor has another procedure?
No? Then sit down and wait like a normal person
If the massage before yours is taking too long do you go in and finish them off?
Sounds like a good business plan, honestly. Sell the idea to people that they get their massage by doing the person in front of them. You sit back and rake in the money as your customers do all the work, and you only have to do the last person of the day.
brought to you by the latest edition of landlord business plans, inc.!
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Ok.
The point is that you are interfering with someone else’s work by doing this. It is fundamentally disrespectful.
Impatience is a selfish and bad trait. His behavior also may indicate his poor control over his biological urges.
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If you’re fundamentally incompatible with being served food, why would you go to a restaurant. That’s just spending money to create a situation that everyone hates.
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Then why would you ruin that experience by being this disruptive and rude towards the staff and other guests???
Either you can go to a restaurant or you can’t, in which case you need to find something that works for both of you as a couple.
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“help struggling employees” ok lmao you’re either clueless about the concept of a restaurant, a massive asshole, or trolling in which case well done.
I have ADHD. Never in my fucking life wouth my ADHD make me go do this because ADHD also comes with built in anxieties and fears that would prevent you from acting like a selfish psychopath in public…
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Some people prefer different types of dining experiences for different types of occasions.
I like shitty fast food, but I also like a nice restaurant. Depends on many different factors.
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The day we forgo waiters in favour of fast food everywhere is the day I die
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I’m removing this comment to keep it nice in here and I’ll take care of the rest.
Much love <3
