- cross-posted to:
- technology@beehaw.org
- cross-posted to:
- technology@beehaw.org
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Glad I finally am in a position where I’m not on the apps (knock on wood, etc). I was getting dates but I could always tell it was in spite of their best efforts.
And even the person I’m with now, I feel like the app algorithm thought we’d be like an 80%. On paper it doesn’t seem like it’d be a long term fit- i have a cat, she has a dog. I like a lot of metal, she likes jam bands. Lot of room for the algorithm to predict we’d have a few dates and then it wouldn’t work out.
And as someone else said, most of them are owned by Match group. Even the myths of capitalism require competition for products to be good. Match should be broken up.
All of them being opened by a single money grubbing company, which has enshitified them to an accounting degree has not helped
accounting
squints eyes not sure if typo or not
Are they? All my friends in their 30s have more than one app. Or had it, when they were single.
What has really been dying for quite some time is “third spaces”. That’s what we need to get back really, beyond dating. Just plain socializing and enjoying togetherness.
I used dating apps on and off for the best part of 10 years when I was single I never got a single meaningful match. They simply do not work.
The point of the app isn’t to get you dates, it’s to get you to use the app so they can sell your data.
If you get into a relationship and delete the app, they’ve lost a customer.
It’s fascinating how different women’s experiences with these stupid things are than men’s…
How so?
I’m a man who originally met women on these apps, but after a certain point everybody seemed to be a bot and the app seemed to be completely gamified, even when I used paid apps. Other people might have different experiences.
From what I understand, women are deluged with mobs of low-effort fuck boys and men are mostly ignored, which creates a feedback loop where men swipe on anything just for the hope of a match, which only makes things worse.
It’s really fascinating from a systems perspective. But it used to be better before enshittification, in my limitted experience. The reality is that quickly finding a new partner you are ideally matched with is the very last thing these companies want you to do.
Well duh, they earn money when you use their app. And you stop using the app if it does what it’s supposed to. Finding the love of your life is the worst possible thing to happen for the company since they lose you as a customer
One of my friends, who is a woman, once showed me her dating app to show me why she found it so exhausting. I tell you, I’m ashamed of my fellow males. She got so many cheap messages from horny guys, to the point where she found the app useless.
For me, last time I used a dating app, I found it very hard to strike up a meaningful conversation with my matches. It was like I had to carry the whole conversation and they took forever to respond. So in that retrospect, it might be why some guys don’t put in much effort when contacting women. But most of the massages my friend showed me, where absolutely just mouth breathing horny guys.
My last runthrough with the apps, I’d carefully read everyone’s profile and craft an interesting introductory message. It took quite a bit of time and was rarely rewarded with a reply, much less a conversation, much less a first date. My messages got shorter and shorter until eventually I was just mass swiping. And, just as far as a use of time goes, if all that matters is a woman likes your profile, it’s more efficient to roboswipe and filter the women who match back.
Also, the emotional toll of serially declaring “I like you” and asking “do you like me?” only to be greeted by rejection after rejection is pretty devastating.
Anyway, very happy with my current girlfriend whom I randomly ran into at a store while looking for an accordion.
