It’s not just any water, it’s holy water. If a priest has cast Ceremony to create the holy water on whatever, sure. But why when you probably have liquid water tk hand? God might wonder if it’s very sincere if you’re just basically doing it for a laugh. Might take away your spell slots.

is there actually any rule against using gatorade for a baptism?

It’s better, cuz it’s got electrolytes.

Does it even have to be liquid water?

So like, ice X at 60 gigapascals and -120 °C?

@Sterile_Technique
Not catholic, so I don’t know their official position, but as I understand, in extreme circumstances any liquid will do.
Part of it involves the idea of “washing”, or “being washed”, so solid water or water in solids would not count. And also the idea of purification, but many use dirty river water.

There was a picture going around during the pandemic of a religious leader performing a baptism with a super soaker. So, at least in some Christian denominations, that’s totally cool. And if Gatorade is okay…

Can you baptize people with a supersoaker full of piss?

To answer your first question, AWOL is also used colloquially to describe people wildly or destructively ignoring the responsibilities of their job. So it’d be an apt descriptor if it was talking about a REAL priest but in this case it’s just flowery wording (presumably for alliteration)

I think the writer meant to say ‘gone rogue’ instead of ‘AWOL’. Just poor writing skills.