Well I, myself, am not currently personally on fire at this particular moment, which proves conclusively that climate change is a hoax and that our glorious, benevolent job creators deserve another tax cut and, fuck it, give em a bailout too just for the hell of it!

Just don’t anyone dare give one of our innumerable homeless “people” in our innumerable tent cities a sandwich. That would just enable them to keep being poor. In fact, lets give people of net worth higher than a hundred million an annual, national civic award for occasionally having to see the homeless out of their car and limo windows, as a thank you for allowing the nation to bathe in the owner’s divine affluent light, that just feels on theme for us.