Or Windex.

That’s kind of the point, that show ended 28 years ago. What have you seen him in since then? When he’s been mentioned in the years since, it’s generally either to make a joke about his career or just his general persona.

30 Rock in 2006: In this episode, Jenna Maroney goes on a sexual walkabout, engaging in a bunch of deviant sex acts. At ~3:45, we see the very end of her checklist:

• In an airplane wheel well
• Pull a general Tso’s Revenge
• Run a train with the cast of “Training Day” on a train
• Soon-Yi a marriage
• Supreme court Justice,Liberal
• Yoko a band
• Dean Cain

Once the band has been Yoko’d, she scrolls down to the final entry. “Ugh, Dean Cain,” she sighs, rolling her eyes.

Family Guy in 2007: Dean Cain is so desperate for attention that he’s taken to wearing old Superman merch and sidling up to random strangers then saying “Hey, is that Dean Cain?” in a fake voice.

Yeah, it’s literally true that he’s a former Superman actor, but he’s been a punchline for over 20 years, to the point where he’s probably better known as a joke than an actor.

I checked, whoever CONEY is isn’t saying these things, it’s a reaction video making fun of the satanic panic around Pokémon. That’s why in the profile pic he looks like one of those dudes who would make an outrageous reaction face in the thumbnail, because he usually does. No shade, except for the obvious shade.

• Satanism in Pokémon and MTG (original video)
• The Disturbing Agenda Behind Pokémon (CONEY reaction video)

EDIT: I’m watching the OG video (35 damn minutes); favorite pull quote so far:

The danger of Dungeons & Dragons or any kind of role-playing game like this is that it’s played with the mind and–when played with the mind–the mind begins to lose that fine line with what’s real and what’s fantasy. And the more you get into the fantasy world, the more it seems real and all of a sudden now, you don’t know what’s real or what’s not.

Seems like.

EDIT2: Hold up though, is this guy working undercover for Prima Guides or something?

And now, parents, if you’re not up on Pokémon, you need to be. And one of the things you can do is go out and buy the official Pokémon Trading Card Game Player’s Guide. And you can get this at any store that sells any of the Pokémon stuff. I mean anything. You can get it like at Toys ‘R’ Us or any of those places that sell any of the Pokémon.

“OK, have fun. Enjoy your right to free speech. The armed forces welcomes your dissent.”

https://cad-comic.com/comic/will-it-blend/

Neat, thanks for explaining!

The “stone” with the words in it has a suspiciously uniform appearance. I wonder whether it might be concrete and the letters pressed into it while wet, in which case basically none of it is true.

This doesn’t belong in Not The Onion, the Betoota Advocate is extremely satirical. OP ate the onion and then posted it on Not The Onion.

I did read it. The Tumblr blog is what was reported to police, leading to his arrest in 2018, roughly a year after the offending began. The original commenter was under the mistaken impression that his offenses went undetected until 2025, or roughly eight years. I corrected a misunderstanding about years.

Actually reading the link, he was arrested in 2018. It’s not very exculpatory to say “His CSAM collection wasn’t eight years old, it was only one year old,” but it’s true I guess.

But if they were just re-using old recordings of her as Peach saying “Yeah!”, there’s every chance she wouldn’t get a call for that at all. Not getting a call back for the new Mario Kart doesn’t immediately mean “I’m not Peach any more,” until the game comes out and it becomes clear they haven’t used archive recordings and somebody else is Peach in it.

On the day before launch, she was basically Schrodinger’s Peach: “I haven’t recorded any new lines for this one, so I’m either in this game via archive recordings or I’ve been replaced.” She doesn’t need a phone call for either of those to be true.

I feel like Mario Kart is a bit ambiguous, there’s always the potential they could just re-use voice work from a previous entry rather than bringing all the actors in to go “Whoa! Ha-ha-ha. Luigi number one!” I don’t know if they still do this, but in the N64 era a lot of the same samples were used for Mario Kart, Mario Party, maybe other stuff, so the actors wouldn’t have been involved after the original recording sessions.

FIVE CANS?!

Sonic the Hedgehog Adventure Gamebook 4.

He didn’t marry her, that wouldn’t have even been legal in their lifetimes. But otherwise yes.

You’re not wrong.

The security guard has since been fired and the police have opened a criminal investigation.

It’s marginally less confusing when you see the whole series instead of just this one grandmother poster. Each one has a list of bullets describing a person, with the one thing they all have in common being “Uses drugs”.