• 0 Posts
  • 15 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 11th, 2023

help-circle







  • You’ve got a bit of a catch 22 trying to make shrimp stuffed braciole because traditionally braciole is tougher cuts of beef (when nonna taught me we used round steak) braised in tomato sauce until the heat and the acid tenderizes them, but braising shrimp for that long is gonna turn them into chewy, flavorless lumps. Upgrading to ribeye (that I assume is both butterflied and pounded thin) and cooking less is an interesting way to try to solve that problem


  • You see, I always thought that he bought Twitter so that he could have a parallel equivalent to that thing where the president can send a message to every cell phone instantly. You’ll notice that one of the first things he did was make himself block-proof. He still shows up in your feed, even if you blocked him. That was actually what caused me to leave Twitter, though his later decisions have validated that. He’s even floated the idea of getting rid of blocks altogether. He’s slowly making Twitter unpalatable to anyone who isn’t part of his white supremacist genius entrepreneur cult.


  • At a press conference today, Musk was quoted as saying:

    Look at me. Look at me. Please, God, I need people to be paying attention to me and validating me all the time. Ever since I fucked it up with my hot goth gf I’ve been an absolute mess of transparent attempts to remain relevant. I tried to gain your approval by doing what I guessed would be cool guy shit like going on stage with Dave Chappelle and yelling at you small people about how rich I am. I did the meme thing with the fake money and the fun monkey pictures. I spent billions evading your blocks on Twitter. I give up. You don’t have to love me. No one will ever love me. But I need you to always be looking at me.

    Musk then produced an acoustic guitar and began to play a cover of Matchbox 20’s “Push”. According to reports, the entrepreneur who used his slave-generated wealth to build a private space program was on the verge of tears and within shouting distance of the key as he sang the line “Don’t just stand there/say nice things to me/cuz I’ve been cheated and I’ve been wronged”.