The whale biologist is one of the best one off characters:

Well, you’ve come to the right guy. I’m the whale biologist, though personally I hate whales. Especially Mushu

Then why’d you become a whale biologist?

I don’t know you well enough to get into that.

…and the fifth reason whales kill is for the sheer fun of it!

Anything else?

Yeah, your suit’s lumpy and you smell awful. Hey, I call ‘em like I see ‘em, I’m a whale biologist.

The suit was ugly! Whale biologist.

Introducing Mushu! The educated whale who thinks he’s better than you!

Stop him! He’s got aquarium property!

Better do what he says; he’s a whale biologist.

“You calling me crazy? Just cause I got a hotel in my foot don’t make me a boogalee moogalee!”

However, my favorite Roberto episode might be the 6 million dollar mon not Benders Game (which I think is where the quote above is from…?)

Hey get a room you two!

We’re in a room!

Then lose some weight!

Walrus don’t need no chicanery. Once a lady goes walrus, she never… She… No one ever goes walrus.

These X-Ray specs will really take the guess work out of surgery. No more blindly chopping in the goop.

I’m doing my job-- There’s Amy.

I spend a few hours selecting a candy from the machine-- There’s Amy.

I wake up the morning after sleeping with Amy-- There’s Amy.

Destiny has cheated me by forcing me to decide upon: The woman that I idolize, or the hands of an automaton.

Without these hands I can’t complete the opera that was captivating her

But if I keep them, and she marries him, He probably won’t want me dating her.

If you assume that a “bullet” is a unit of momentum (the mass and velocity of a bullet) and “square child” is actually just referring to the mass of a child who happens to be square shaped and not the mass of a child squared, then “bullets per square child” is describing valid units for a velocity

“Preposterous twaddlecock Time travel is impossible!”

“But Professor, you time traveled yourself. Remember? When we went back to Roswell?”

“That proves nothing! And furthermore, you’d think I could remember a thing like that! Plus, who are you anyway?”

Don’t forget his birthday and his mother’s maiden name too

“Mr. Doctor man questions his hands…”

I’m fairly certain it’s potpourri which is not a drink. When you heat it up on a stove it’s meant to fill your house with its scent. “pot pourri” directly translates to “rotten pot” which I think is accurate because I’ve never been fond of the smell

Well actually it’s the other way around. The reason imaginary numbers were invented was to solve a problem we’d been crying over for centuries.

Then, as in most cases, solving one problem opens the door to millions of other problems like why in the fuck does the universe use these imaginary numbers we made up to solve cube roots?

Why is i a core part of the unit circle with like e^i*pi ? “Oh that’s because i is just perpendicular to the real number line” ?! Say that sentence again, how the fuck did we go from throwing sharp sticks to utterly deranged sentences like that? More importantly why do utterly deranged sentences like that accurately describe our universe and what is the next ludicrous math concept we’re going to discover is integral to the function of the universe?

“The Yellow Wallpaper”

It was quite scarring for most of the kids in my 7th grade class.

Also I’ve only just now realized that wallpaper back then could have contained arsenic so going insane from being in contact with it constantly enough to stain your skin is a very real possibility.

Bro are you actually able to plan and make routines? Because I definitely tried this multiple times only to fail repeatedly until I got meds.

I guess everyone’s ADHD is different, so maybe this works for you and will work for OP, but this kind of advice never worked for me no matter how many times or how hard I tried.

One of the effects of me getting medicated is being able to make phone calls and schedule meetings. Do I still hate that everyone would rather I call and stumble over my words and forget what I’m going to say rather than let me write an email that allows me to clearly and concisely ask my questions? Yes, fuck them for doing that. Hell, it’s stupid and inefficient to try and find times your schedules are both open to have a meeting when you could just write a fucking email and reply to it when your schedule allows. But yeah, anyway, now I actually have enough executive function to make those phone calls and meetings when I have to.

Also here’s a reminder to take your meds because I definitely would have forgotten to take mine if I hadn’t seen this post and remembered.

Holy shit I just had a memory flashback. Did anyone else play a game online that had orbs that looked like this that you had to drag through like a maze without touching the walls and avoiding other obstacles?

Edit: found it, it’s literally called “orb” and it is on coolmathgames

Edit 2: yep just as frustrating as I remember

Bro I know the feeling. I’m still in uni, but I’ll have my life put together, getting homework done on time, cleaning regularly etc. and then there’ll be like something wrong with one of my grades and I procrastinate writing the email to my professor for no reason at all and suddenly I can’t do anything and I get overwhelmed by everything I’m not doing and that just makes me dread doing anything.

Anyway, sorry you’re feeling depressed right now. But if you want my opinion, if it’s impacting your life negatively, I don’t think it matters if someone has it worse than you. If your life could be better, that’s what matters.

Honestly, finding a psychiatrist and setting up the appointment was probably the hardest part of getting medicated. I put it off for multiple years even though I knew that I probably had ADHD, but let me tell you, that first day on my meds, sitting in class and realizing I am actually getting information out of the lecture, it was so weird. Like wow people actually learn things in class? I can actually write emails and make phone calls without having to build up the motivation over several days? I regret not doing it sooner.

Anyway, if you feel like medication would help, once you get your “pinball machine” running again, I think getting diagnosed may be worth a try. You deserve to try and make your life better just as much as others do, even if you don’t have it as bad as they do.

Yeah healthcare is fucked (in the USA at least). But yeah I take them as needed. I’ve been taking them most everyday for a while though because I’m making some major life changes right now. Surprisingly they do help with anxiety and depression too ig. Like I get anxious about doing stuff and then I do the stuff and I’m less anxious.

Tasks seem much less stressful when you know you can actually complete them.

Also, I would try out the Strattera if I were in your position even if you don’t think it will work. Worst case scenario you can say “this isn’t working for me” and maybe get something else, and if that doesn’t work it’s not like you’re worse off for having tried it. But best case scenario it could work! Who knows, it’s possible it could be the best drug for you. Even if it only works a tiny bit that’s still better than nothing yeah?

If you can’t get prescribed meds, I’d probably try caffeine pills. I used to use Bang energy drinks before taking tests before I got medicated. Not the healthiest thing, I bet caffeine pills are probably better, but whatever works right?

Speed. lol

Seriously though, I’m on 15mg adderall (dextrin-amp amphetamine) twice a day. I was on methylphenidate originally (started at 20mg ramped up to 60mg) but it made me kind of sick to my stomach and wore off fast. Upping the dose made it last longer but also made it feel worse physically

Everyone warned me that adderall would be much stronger and have a risk of addiction, but that’s mostly been the opposite of my experience. Even compared to 10mg of methylphenidate it seems softer.

It sits better in my stomach, doesn’t make me as anxious, doesn’t give me a high, and I still have to like force myself to take it. Also I haven’t noticed any withdrawal symptoms when I’ve abruptly stopped taking them.

Only issue is that I’m not hungry and if I take them too late in the day it will keep me awake. But that’s definitely worth the ability to actually do stuff lol

If you get prescribed meds, you’ll probably get methylphenidate and it might work for you. My advice is dont be afraid to ask to try different meds if they aren’t working for you. Everyone is different, some people I know take like combinations of different meds throughout the day. Maybe you’ll be like that or maybe the first meds you try will work perfectly.

But you won’t know till you try and in my opinion it’s better to know a medication doesn’t work than to miss out on something that could vastly improve your life.

Also sorry this is long, I’m kind of just writing stuff I wish someone had told me when I started.

I did not like the idea of needing to take meds everyday. I didn’t want to have to become dependent on medication. I was afraid that I’d get addicted or that it’d be detrimental to my health. But honestly, I’m very very glad I tried this.

Basically none of my fears happened. I don’t need to take my meds everyday, I just know that if I do I’ll probably be more productive. So I take them when I know I have stuff that needs doing that day.

I am not dependent on my meds. I have the opposite problem where I irrationally just don’t want to take them or I procrastinate taking them. I’m not addicted at all.

But the positive effects are there. Even on the meds that made me super anxious and kind of sick I was able to go from the lowest 3% in one of my classes to the top 10% last semester.

Also if you get anxiety from your meds, especially the physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, beta blockers can help with that. I got prescribed propranolol and even 5mg of it when taken with my meds helped mitigate the whole fight or flight anxiety from my meds.

What’s weird is that now I’m on supposedly stronger meds I haven’t really felt the need to take them much.

Anyway, my advice is to try it out, and if the meds don’t work for you, or if they do but they have enough negative effects that you can’t bring yourself to take them, try to find new ones. Try to find meds or med combinations that work and when you do, it will change your life for the better.