Na. If they’re on the ceiling, they’re stalactitties

A mnemonic device I learned:

• Stalactites. Spelled with a c, for ceiling

• Stalagmites. Spelled with a g, for ground

Still love the joke. Take my updoot.

I was distracted by the ceiling nipples

When Spooktober ended, but you’re still dead inside

Now that’s a version of Hocus Pocus I’d watch!

For research purposes, of course

Na. He’s breaking into houses that are empty and stealing their RAM

I love how so many cities have at least one iconic building where you just know what the city is. I was like, “oh what city?” Opens post “Oh, Seattle. Nice”

Granted, I’ve never been farther west than Des Moines, so I’m willing to admit I may be mistaken

Imagine being an atheist tripping balls on some mold, writing a fanfiction, and then said fanfiction becomes Catholic canon

Sometimes I wish someone would do that again and give us a 4th option for an afterlife. Or at the very least, give us a better rundown on what purgatory is.

Let your cat nap at 90°

It even works when you dial it backwards

Kinda makes me wonder if this joke was the origin of my old DM’s love of giant, friendly mimics

I still mourn the death of our ship, Yelsin

Someone breaks into their house

Adonaiyahwehjehovahbob: see? I do answer prayers

“They’re putting razors in the cheese!”

“Na, that’s just extra sharp cheddar.”

Nervously avoiding eye contact: “W-what? No, I don’t…” Knife is out in the open for all to see.

(My deleted comment was a result of Comment Mitosis™)

deleted by creator

I’d rather underperform in front of a talent scout than a cub scout.

The talent scout only cares about the money they can make off you. The cub scout cares about you. I wouldn’t wanna disappoint the kid.

I doubt whatever caused them to explode would let any loopholes get exploited. (E.g. Bezos technically isn’t a billionaire because his riches aren’t in money form, but he still explodes like all the others.)

Edit. Your comment history made me realise I just fed a Mother’s-basement Troll™ 🤦‍♀️

MapQuest seems to be the Mamdani of map apps. They just keep cranking out W after W

I love your username and profile pic 😆

Best of luck to you, Sirena! May you grow big, strong, and healthy! 🦭💕

Accidental Renaissance