Where do you poop?

Now imagine how much shittier Kristi Noem is.

A shitty spoof we made about hot pockets. We listed it on Napster or Limewire as a bootleg.

Whoa. I hope it was my fake Limp Bizkit song because a couple friends and I actually did this around 2000.

I think he may have soul doubt.

You suck, weirdo.

Seriously though, I think it’s only a coping mechanism if you have an actual issue with it. Were you neglected during your isolation?

I’m a middle-aged man working full remote and playing dogs with my dogs is one of my favorite things to do when I take breaks. It’s fuckin great.

Sorry, I had to.

In my experience, the people who crave authoritarianism the most appear to understand it the least. This is both a cause and an effect of the authoritarian executive system when put into practice.

Most authoritarians struggle mightily to explain the rationale behind their own choices, even incredibly simple ones. They also display a genuine aversion to the very process of evidence-based critical thinking.

Thus the allure of authoritarianism is in justifying the release of it’s agents from the burdensome task of real, responsible decision-making. It’s not hard to understand when you consider how overwhelming the decision fatigue must be for those described above.

Hearing them tell it, you would think they were more upset about the stash than his death.

I like to think it was both. He probably crashed because he was fapping in the car on the way to the wank cave to swap the fap cache. At least then he died doing what he loved.

Come to think of it, I’m reminded of a detail that may corroborate my theory. He was ejected from the car when it rolled. It actually pancaked his head, leaving the rest of him pretty intact.

Anyway, he clearly wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. So now I’m thinking why wasn’t he wearing it? And why was his dick out when they found him? I guess God is mysterious or whatever he used to like to say.

You slipped up now, Hippie. We will expose the heart of your delicious plan(t), one buttery piece at a time.

Not to detail this but that is a new one for me. What is a Stan?

Secrets by the sounds of it.

Ah, the dead man’s switch. It always reminds me of the time my homophobic uncle-in-law died in a car crash and they found his secret stash of gay porn in the wreckage. Yeah, good luck explaining that one at the pearly gates my man.

On the nose.