Mint_Raccoon

They’ve already been mentioned, but The Dead Milkmen are exactly what you’re looking for.

I have a T480 that I’m very happy with. With shipping I paid a little under $250. It came with 16GB of RAM and a 256GB SSD (which I replaced with a larger one).

I live in Florida (unfortunately). Cows are pretty common in my region.

Someone made a flowchart on what to play after finishing the series.

If you’re willing to check out non-RPGs, then I highly recommend Star Tropics (which is on the flowchart). The best way to describe it as a cross between MOTHER (setting) and The Legend of Zelda (gameplay). An interesting thing to note is that Star Tropics is a first-party Nintendo game that’s never been released in Japan despite being developed there.
Another thing is that there’s a point where you’ll need to get a password off of the Internet. The game originally came with a letter from the protagonist’s uncle that contained the password, which would only be revealed by dipping the letter in water.

The closest I can offer to what you’re asking for is that there are some e-readers that use Android. I own a Boox Page, which is one of those, and I’m happy with it. Boox products are a bit on the pricier side, but they do offer features that can be difficult to find on other manufacturers’ offerings, such as a micro SD slot.

My sister uses her second monitor maninly for Discord, but sometimes it’s art references or game guides.

There’s a homebrew app called ftpd that you could use, but it only works on a hacked system and that requires an SD card reader to initially setup.

I don’t think that what you want exists. The best I can offer is SysDVR, which streams video to a PC and from there you could livestream that.

Alternatively, you could try your luck asking on GBAtemp and see what they know.

Some old Archos media players, such as the 605 WiFi, run a locked down Linux according to Wikipedia.

It’s almost always better to not buy a cheap sex toy. There’s no regulation of the industry and many materials in cheaper toys are just straight up dangerous. Here’s an article (it’s NSFW, there are pictures) that goes over what materials are and aren’t safe.

Etrian Odyssey

I tried the demo for the fourth one and just didn’t really like or get it. A couple years later Atlus announced Persona Q (which has mostly the same gameplay as Etrian Odyssey) so, I decided to give the demo another try and it just clicked this time. I have no idea why I didn’t like it the first time around.

All you have to do is download the APK from the F-Droid website and enable installing from third-party/unknown sources in the Settings app (some versions of Android ask automatically when you try to open the APK). I also recommend disabling unknown sources for your browser once you’re done as a security measure.

The weirdest fetish I’ve ever seen was knee inflation and as a furry and former deviantArt user I’ve seen some pretty weird stuff.

Napple Tale: Arisa in Daydream
A game for the Dreamcast that had a primarily female dev team. It was exclusive to Japan, but a translation patch was released a couple years ago.

Atelier series
There are a bunch of these. They’re RPGs based heavily around crafting. Actually, they basically pioneered crafting in RPGs.

Um Jammer Lammy
A spin-off of Parappa the Rapper. Lammy has only 15 minutes to make it to her band’s performance, but getting there won’t be easy.
Note that Stage 6 is censored in the North American release. Also as a bonus, completing the game unlocks Parappa mode, with new versions of every song after Stage 1.

Athena
Stick with the original arcade version. The NES port is infamously bad.

Psycho Soldier
A spin-off of Athena (sort of) starring Athena’s descendant/reincarnation (it depends on the writer), Athena Asamiya (and Sie Kensou as player 2’s character). Athena (and Kensou) would later become staples of the King of Fighters series. The game is notable for being the first game with a vocal soundtrack.

Baraduke
An arcade title from Namco. Being on this list is actually a pretty big spoiler because the fact that the protagonist is a woman isn’t revealed until the end of the game. Now that probably sounds like a ripoff of Metroid, but here’s the thing: Baraduke did it first.

Koudelka
An obscure horror RPG for the PlayStation.
The game is an unhappy compromise between the creator and the dev team. One side wanting to make a survival horror game and the other going for something like Final Fantasy VII. I’ve never actually gotten very far in this one because I hate the battle system. Also, this game has connections to the later Shadow Hearts series.

Literally every game in the Otome genre
Probably not what you’re looking for, but technically fits your criteria of having a female protagonist.

I might add more to this post if I can think of something else.