From the comments, the poll is not well done.

Any forums you recommend?

There’s so many providers, and they don’t always make it clear when they change hardware. Amazon AWS feels pretty open about it, they are good. I doubt the resource you are looking for will ever exist. You won’t be able to make a purchase decision with all the info you want.

Having said that, you did bring a ton of resources together in this post, thank you for that!

I like this idea. I’ve been self hosting using A VPS cloud server, but this is a great reason to do something in my home.

I think https://masto.host/ offers what you want, you can pay to host mastodon. I haven’t seen the same for Lemmy.

You’re the admin of Lemmy.World? Thanks for hosting this place. What got you into self-hosting?