My wife always predicts the worst possible outcome of what I’m saying and starts to say how bad it is. I have to stop her without losing my temper because it’s so aggravating

Hmmm, I wonder which fascist party they’re supporting

Shame they don’t jump to the point before he got his powers and push him into a woodchipper

Breasts feed geeks

You keep equating your preferences to reality. Just because you and an online circlejerk don’t like it means that you’re correct.

Young men especially. The number of knuckleheads driving 10-15 over the speed limit while texting is insane.

Unless Tony Gilroy is the showrunner

Welcome to Texas. For other stories of wild, stupid shit, google “Texas AG sues” and autocomplete

I think of this comic

They want an excuse for martial law to shut down the midterms

Your wife is much happier with me now and the children are already calling me dad. It’s time to move on.

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain

I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain

10 hours? I’ve been at this for over a week (of total time spread across 6 weeks).

One could argue it’s always been about the wealthy.

Me and my bro the day after eating at a Brazilian steakhouse.

EAT THE SALAD! You will thank me.

$$$

My in-laws have one and love it, but I warned them it’s a security nightmare. Fully expect all their private information to be hacked by now

So Google can begin tracking and advertising to them

Minty is fun. Been watching his videos for years

I closed my eyes and visualized AI execs in the cab when it hits.

It was beautiful.