I heard that “who let the dogs out” by the Baha Men is about ugly girls coming to the club.

I was explaining this to a coworker, and one of my female coworkers were around. After I said it, I looked at her and said “oh my gosh I’m so sorry” because I thought it was inappropriate to say at work.

She took it as I was calling her ugly! (she was though)

Chloroform

Okay, we can all go home now, we found the winner

Dog is named cat. Cat is named dog!

When I’m dealing with ISP or phone customer service, I always ask for the cancelation department. They are motivated to keep customers so sometimes they’ll throw in a coupon, especially if you treat them like a human.

I have had a “biohazard” call at a local college.

The platen glass is a lot thinner than it looks!

Also, depending on the model of the copier, it will not let you copy money, and if you attempt it too many times, it will literally brick the machine.

Something cool to do is to take your phone and turn on the selfie camera. Lay that on the platen and make a copy to see a trippy pattern.

If you want to screw with someone, lay a single paperclip on the platen and make a bunch of copies of it. Take your copies and shuffle them into the paper tray face up (assuming you’re using an office laser copier) so every once in a while, someone will get a paper clip on their print.

Sometimes your printer won’t print in black and white if a color is out because it uses all of the colors to create a deeper black. Depends on the model though.

And some of them use yellow as a lubricant because yellow toner has a consistency close to water.

Also, please do not copy money or your butt. Trust me.

I haven’t been on Reddit since the day they killed the apps.

Life has been more peaceful in some ways, and I’m not as stressed out. I stopped watching the news too, which had a similar effect.

I grew up as the “IT guy” in small town America.

This guy, and the people here (not you) sound like a lot of people I know. I’d look for a different job and grow your passion somewhere else. It isn’t worth it. You won’t change them, and they’re just going to make you feel like you’re wrong, even though you’re right. It’s like the movie Idiocracy.

One of my coworkers carries a flipper zero around and opens up every single Tesla gas door we see. He hasn’t tried it on the cybertruck yet, the ones I see are usually on the move.

I know you’re a stranger, but I get the keys to the apartment in about an hour!!!

I want to tell everyone, but I have nobody to tell. I’m FINALLY going to have a home to go home to.

Secondhand lions, the pursuit of happiness, and the good neighbor (2016)

I’m doing it!

The crysis center already has an apartment for me. They’re going to pay first months rent and deposit, I can even have my cats with me!

Since I left my wife, I’ve been saving sooooo much money. I know how to cook on a budget, the kids aren’t picky, and I’m not wasting my money on door dash!

It’s gonna be a tough journey, but I can do this!

I think I’m on my way to happiness.

I finally left my abusive wife this week. It was really scary, and she keeps sending me threats (to take me for child support and ruin my life) but I was able to get ahold if a crisis center for abused people, thankfully they have support for men. The crisis center is going to help me tackle all the debt she’s put me in and get me into an apartment that will have room for me and my kids!

Yesterday for the first time in 14 years, I was completely free. I just drove around town. I went and got an ice cream cone, and I got a Mexican Pizza from taco bell, and nobody insulted me, put me down, or made me feel worthless. I got a glimpse of me and I really miss that guy. I used to have the nick name smiley because I always walked around with a shit eating grin on my face because I love life and I love my job, but she’s worn away at me lately.

I might be homeless technically, but I have a safe space until I can get on my feet. I get my kids tonight, we’re going to have a pizza party and play Mario Kart together. I think everything is going to be fine soon…

I got one of these at Disneyland.

Absolute 10/10

We snuck our cat into our apartment skirting the lease. About 4 years in, they noticed our cat. We were given the ultimatum, pay $500 by the end of the week, or get rid of him by the end of the week. I was absolutely devistated, but we had no choice but to rehome him. We found a nice family across town to take him in. They would send us updates for about a week until he ran away.

About 6 or 7 months later, I’m watching TV with my wife at midnight, and I hear frantic meowing at the door. It was him!

The management company was in such disbelief, they waived the fee for us and he lived to be 12 years old. He passed away in my arms about 2 years ago. I’ll never forget him.

Thank you, I appreciate that

What’s the first song that plays in the car?

I am not in a position to Shazam it.

I saw one in person 2 days ago. I took a picture, and none of my coworkers think it’s a real picture (or that I took it).

It was surreal. I could see it coming from WAY down the road and I was thinking to myself “there is absolutely no way I am seeing a cybertruck right now”

I am dumbfounded they actually made them. I still can’t believe what I saw the other day