Sleep for 18 hours a day, knowing no one would bother me.

File this under, “We knew this already…and don’t care.”

I have a Britta jug in my fridge that hasn’t had a filter in it for years. It keeps my unfiltered tap water cold. I love it.

I don’t know, man. Those folks sure seem unnecessarily angry about a lot of stupid shit.

Mommy always cut them off for him. Now, the wife must do the same.

Wasn’t she recently bragging about blowing Trump? A married man? Hmmm. Curious.

There’s not a single original thought, in all of Hollywood.

That combination would kill anyone.

Lol! Trump wants a thing. They don’t want to do it. So, they toss him something shiny to make him forget the thing he wanted?

What a way to galvanize the opposition against you.

Well, yeah. It’s upside down. What did they expect?

Is that why it’s getting so downvoted?

Technically, yes…but we’ll allow it, because fuck T-Mobile. Carry on the wayward, son.

These idiots are just so drunk on their own bullshit.

LISA…Laser Interferometer Space Antenna.

Isn’t this currently what Russia is trying to do with their internet?

A cat would be perfect for you. Maybe not a kitten, though. They require more attention. Visit shelters, and see if one of the older cats takes a shine to you.

Something, something…Don Quixote, I think.

Don’t fuckin’ tell me what to do.

Then you need to fire your accountant…or start taking their advice. Either way, you’re doing it wrong.