Today I had a work call with a colleague who has been mentoring me for a few months now (nothing serious, just someone to ask now and then if I need advice). Around half way through this call, once they had answered my original question, out of the blue and unprompted they asked “wasp, have you considered that you might be neurodivergent?”
From the short conversation I then had, they have noticed that I hyperfocus, I can’t organise for shit, I regularly stop mid sentence and change the subject, and that I bounce between trains of thought rapidly which makes it hard for people to keep up. I was a bit surprised as I don’t work particularly closely with this colleague and while I’m aware that I do these things they have never really been mentioned before, and certainly not attributed to anything other than me being a bit overenthusiastic.
I won’t delve too deeply here, but today has certainly been a day of self reflection. Regardless of whether I am or am not neurodivergent, I have always felt able to pass as neurotypical and today has been the first time I have had anyone question this. Suddenly I’m thinking that maybe I should be taking the possibility of me having ADHD a lot more seriously. The penny has finally dropped that I need to get this checked out.
Any advice on what I should do next? I’ve booked in to see my doctor, but what would you all recommend to a potential ADHD newcomer?
You got yourself a good colleague here. Seriously there are so many bad ways this conversation could have gone. But also the only type of person who asks someone if they’re neurodivergent is another neurodivergent person. From what I understand neurotyps tend to interpret a question like that as offensive. Like they’d have to be a super ally, down with the neurodiversity movement, has a kid, partner or close family member who’s neurodivergent type of neurotypical.
If you are neurodivergent then cool, enjoy the journey in rediscovering your identity. It’s important to know that our capacity to function can be context dependent and relative to the supports / systems that we have in our lives. You may feel like you’re doing fine now but there may be a point where things change and your capacity is reduced. This is where knowing you’re neurodivergent can be helpful because it can be useful in developing self compassion and negotiating your support needs. Or maybe you’ve built up all of these coping and management strategies that work for you and you’re able to just keep on keeping on. Either way it’s always good to learn more about yourself.
Yes, they are great - they are quite vocally neurodivergent and thankfully I’m in a company and culture that is very supportive, accommodating and open about these things.
I think, even without any diagnosis, having this conversation has made me think “hey, maybe I don’t have to be so hard on myself” which, regardless of whether I am or am not neurotypical, is probably a positive train of thought to be having!
Thank you for this! My GP doesn’t think I have ADHD because I can hold down a job. He asked me at my last appointment, “So, you still want to try and get on ADHD meds?”
I didn’t know how to word that I don’t just want a diagnosis for meds. I want to know what I’m working with so I can get whatever help I need, when I need it.
In some ways I think it really sucks that medical professionals get to be gatekeepers of our identity in this way. Which is why I really dig the neurodiversity paradigm because it gives us a way of exploring our identities as identities rather than just dsm labels. People who don’t understand tend to assume that we all just want to label ourselves for the sake of it. But identity is a complex thing and having an explanation for why you’re different from the norm is very powerful.
Knowing that you’re neurodivergent also allows you to explore ways of structuring life around that. For example, there are a range of non-pharmaceutical options for managing adhd. And they often work best when tailored to each individual’s needs. There’s also the benefit of knowing what your strengths and limitations are (all people have these regardless of adhd). Another key thing is also being able to find your community! This is something that a lot of people really underestimate the significance of.