Life is just waiting around doing what you want to fill the time till you die. Fill yours with reintegration projects. Join some clubs, join a support group. Never stop searching for what you’re seeking.

It’s funny you wish to be a part of this clown show. It takes all kinds to make the world go round.

I wish I could disconnect from everything and fly away from the planet. Fuck this dirty dirty planet.

What makes you think being on the same page as society is a good thing?

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It helps knowing you’re not the only one, IMO. Look up people who have left high-control communities (would have been called cults in decades past). People can come out of some pretty horrific backgrounds and with hard work, intention, and support, live good lives.

Start studying, it is never too late to UNLEARN or LEARN. Step one is realizing YOU are now in control to improve things.

its likely possible since you’re a human being and i image that it would take a lot of work given the manner in which you’ve shared this information.

there’s a song out there by sublime that speaks to me and has enabled me to seek out the help that i needed from professionals and maybe it can help you too in some way:

Daddy he once told me,

“Son, you be hard workin’ man”

And momma she once told me,

“Son, you do the best you can”

Then one day I meet a man,

He came to me and said,

"Hard work good and hard work fine,

but first take care of head"

they were referring to weed as a coping strategy in the song; which i also do; but i’ve used it also convince myself to seek out help because no one can take care of the shit that goes on their head if they don’t know what they’re doing.

You’re not broken, your different. So you don’t have many of the same experiences we take for granted. If you look at it in the right light it might be a blessing. You have the opportunity to have brand new experiences in a time when you can understand them better without the cloud of childhood. I think there are hundreds of things I would almost kill for, to experience for the first time again.

Before you might not have had a choice. Now you do! Choose to do the things you love. If you don’t know what that is, keep looking till you find it. Find the things that awaken your passion and follow that road where it leads. Branches in the road and the choices you’ll make will open more of the world to with each passing day.

We are all fucked! We all have baggage we needlessly carry. We all try to hide that from each other. Your baggage is just different than mine.

What ever you do in this world remember to be kind to yourself, the world can be rough and you at least need yourself on your team.

Big hug young one!

Everything you go through makes you who you are. If your younger years were restricted, take in all you can now. Start by reading the things that were kept from you.