1 hour and 41 minutes is a sleep cycle! Plan it right, you’ll wake feeling refreshed!

I don’t see what you did there

Colin Wilson. Spider World series. Gigantic spiders ballooning everywhere.

He’s not the victim here!

“I am 'ere … to clean ze pool!”

5th-graders: “Mr Trump, get out of our classroom!”

muff chewing relapse

That girl is a grandmother now.

What was the GDP for fucking Columbia in 1997?

($127.4 billion for those interested)

Youtube Slop: “Listen to this divine frequency to cure your cancer!”

Aw, gosh, thanks for pointing that out. I hadn’t even considered your point among my disdain for huge amounts of food going to waste that could otherwise have helped people. You can pat yourself on the virtue signal now.

Why not give them away to homeless people? Homeless people are often hungry, and would certainly not regret eating 30 to 40 peaches.

But who made the turtle?

Yes. Twice.

I swear, some people look for things to bitch about.

We can’t breed with even our closest terrestrial cousin species with a common ancestor from 5-8 million years ago

… we can’t?

Dammit! All that effort, all those lacerations and broken bones, for nothing!

Do it. Worst that can happen? You fuck it up and paint over it (or get a new canvas). I’ve spent so many years not doing art for fear of the same thing, and I’m only getting older. You have the desire … start with a splot of any colour on the canvas and go from there.

I’m Gonna Buy Me a Dog by The Monkees

Won’t happen to me. I use a real vacuum cleaner on my carpets.

Person: “I’d like to know more about algorithms”.

Goddit: “Your account has been suspended! Spez will be by to piss on your head shortly”.

Like, his dong swung down, whipped around, and smacked him in the anus?